reflections

Reflecting over 2011. Projecting into 2012.

I have learned SO MUCH about myself this year. I feel like this year really highlighted a lot of the negatives in me. Most people would be down on themselves about something like that, but I am so grateful. In all things I give thanks.... (and to my Heavenly Father). I'm learning me. I'm figuring out this process of life and how I function in it, in what environments I thrive and in others that... well, not so much. I harbor so much unfocused energy. It's just everywhere. I am very passionate, which could otherwise be translated as overly emotional. I have literally been ALL over the place. 2011 has been a year of trial and error for me. 2012 will be the time for me to take the lessons that I have learned and to focus this energy of mine into something very productive (and hopefully lucrative as well). I'm thankful for every roadblock, frustration, mistake, and distraction because i know ALL these things are working FOR ME. Now it's time for me to pick up this mess I've spilled all over life's floor and set it in order. Maybe devine isolation is in order... or maybe all I need to do is get somewhere and sit down and wait for HIm to speak to me... Whatever the case may be, I'm waiting on God to make my next move my best move, honey. :))

me. AUGUST 2010. but i feel bluesy today.

The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerance. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.
Maya Angelou

This is so me :)

distracted.

We wrestle not against flesh and blood.
I'm daily battling with....me. I want to walk into the promises of God. I don't want to miss a THING God has for me, but I sometimes get in my own way. I'll be steadily in alignment with his will for a period of time, pursuing His purpose, being obedient to His commands.. then something, the smallest thing, knocks me off track. Willing spirit. Weak flesh. I command distraction to leave me in the name of Jesus. That's all I have.

9.21

GM.

Rough mornings.

Today started off a little off… I had a mixture of emotions.

It’s only 9:30 am and already I have been angry, worried, frustrated, and sad. Now there’s a number of reasons I’m feeling this way but this one just sent me over. So I’m on my way to work, it's pouring rain, and there’s a wreck down the road that I take every morning. So, I wait patiently… I wait patiently some more… and some more. Finally, I decide to turn around and take an alternate route. Well, what do you know? There’s a wreck right here too. I’m calling my dad and can’t get an answer. I’m literally driving in a direction that I am not familiar with, nor do I have the slightest clue where I’m going (I think I actually may have been headed toward Cincinnati maybe lol). Here I am frustrated and mad, blaming everything on the devil. Praise Is What I Do was playing at the time, so I turned it up full blast in my car. The further along this (life) journey I get, the more I’m learning to give thanks in the middle of complicated, frustrating, impossible situations. In the back of my mind though, just for some reason, I’m not worried because I know I’m going to find my way to the right exit. My phone rings just in time and it’s my dad. I’m like two miles away from the exit I need to be on. All I could do was tell him thanks, such a relief. Then I started thinking about the place I’m at in my life. I’m just driving. I DO NOT know where I’m headed. I have not theee slightest clue. But I know for CERTAIN that the right exit is just ahead if I just keep driving, keep praising. I feel like I’m calling God trying to get a response and there’s no answer, you may be feeling like this too. Just know that He’s gonna call back just in time, right up the road, and tell you “Your exit is right here.” Go ahead and tell him “Thanks Dad” in advance. You’re not lost.

Ps 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.